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Practicing with the Mouse
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Working on a Sleeping Character Cartoon
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Hollywood is no place for a crush!
My crush from college decided to move to LA to “become a star”
I lived in LA for a couple of years already.
She asked to “move in with me”
In my sick mind, I heard “I want to have your babies”
I have been chasing this girl for years.
In my sick mind, “I was in it for the long haul.”
She comes out, she find a place for us, We move in together.
She takes the big bedroom, I get the small one.
In my sick mind, “No problem, I’ll be moving on over to her room in no time. “
I go from a 10 min commute to an hour commute
In my sick mind, “more time for road head”
Why am I dragging her to work with me?
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I think she enjoyed frustrating me every night. Nothing but head games. I was trying to play poker, she was playing fuck everyone but me.
She ends up with a boyfriend that moves in her room with no discussion about it.
Lots of nights being woken up from them.
All these years of chasing and sexual frustration erupts. I punch a wall, break my hand.
All of the sudden I have a moment of clarity. She is not the one with the problem.
In my sick mind, I have the solution. A man has needs, I’ll buy a boat.
So I’m living on my boat. It’s not all rum, parrots and pirates.
Living on a boat is like living in the space of a walk-in closet.
What woman doesn’t like walk-in closets.
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A Match Made in Heaven
Victor felt a little lonesome today. He started to do some Tinder’n, cause that is what a lonely refrigerator does in the morning to pass away those urges that one has.
Success!!!
7 matches for the first volley of swipes.
What is this? A cute girl is reaching out to talk to Victor?
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Victor is ever suspicious and he continues to 10 more matches.
This has been a good morning indeed for Victor. He has a new friend and his self-esteem has never been at its highest and he is ready to take on the rest of the day.
The Emperor’s New Frigidaire
So my old fridge finally said its salutations. I broke down and got a brand spanking new one that has some nIce upgrades to it.
I took a picture with my new fridge and put it on Tinder. It is getting more right swipes than I.
Anyway. Now Victor Fries, a.k.a. my fridge has its own Facebook page and Tinder page.
Here is the Tinder profile.
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A Comic’s Medical Plan
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